The evils of beautiful peanut butter
· 9 November 2004 ·

How peanut butter got back into my life

Well I suppose it started at the organic grocery store. I have to pack myself a lunch tomorrow for my field trip so I intended to buy some sliced Turkey. Well the deli was out of turkey and so I thought I might try the roast beef. The roast beef was frozen solid and she could not slice me any. From there I was left to think up a new idea. Having confronted it when I first walked in I returned to aisle number one where the peanut butter and jelly lived. As I pondered buying cashew butter or almond butter I compared the nutritional facts and decided the peanut butter was the best one. As I walked out of the grocery store with the peanut butter tucked safely down into the bottom of my bicycle backpack, I did not know the terror I was to unleash.

Coming home after work late tonight I was a bit on the hungry side. I opened that door on the first floor and whoosh the smell of tasty fake butter from microwave popcorn which I don’t even harbor a kind that could create such a beautiful smell in my own dorm stash. Mounting the steps I breathed in deeply enjoying my sick fetish and deciding to try those new rice cake I bout today with a nice cup of tea. In my room I tore open the rice cakes and devoured two as I checked my e-mail. Then I realized that this might not be enough, and as I added the honey to my tea, I realized I could put peanut butter and honey on my rice cake.

Oh the bliss the simple joy of my new old friend back to tango with my tongue again! Peanut butter I missed you so! And now, what terror is this that I have brought unto my home with this newfound peanut butter? It, in itself is no less than an enjoyable fatty nut spread which in the growing of the plant requires so many pesticides and fertilizer for the ground it sucks dry that no joy less than instantaneous nirvana could call for the indulgence in such an evil at best labeled “all natural”. The evils of peanut butter, what has my environmental science and sustainable agriculture class done to the old fashion staple crop of peanut butter and jelly for the college freshman? Alas!

Written by Kari Sherman