Should Could Go for a Fragrant Moss-engrained Passageway Right About Now.
· 10 September 2004 ·

I strolled to my dorm hall, interested to scope my upcoming living arrangement. I was at UW unusually late, too. It was getting on six oclock so all the workers had gone.
Naturally, I chose the most unusual entrance to the dormitory which led me into somewhat of a utility hallway.
Plastered to the wall was a complete architechtural map of the entire first floor. I should have suspiciously looked around, ripped the diagram off the wall, slid it into my metaphorical leather brief case, and used it to later freak others out by telling them exactly how many feet they have from an electrical outlet to closet.
Or used it to detect a hidden passageway leading to a underground secret layer. I mean, a secret layer of Doom, (yes yes, “doom” will do. For now).
But it was only a drawing of the first floor. Alas.

So instead I just ran around every hallway and moving stuff about in dorms because every single door to every single room was wide open.
Also, the picture on my student card is me with a neck tie. If that doen’t command some strange aura of respect…then I’ll just have to learn to juggle exotic fruits.

Written by Izak Elvrum