The Full moon party, a once in a lifetime experience
· 28 August 2008 ·

Hello everyone, havn’t been able to post because i’ve been too busy absorbing all that has happened to write anything, that and we’ve been dealing with some interesting circumstances so i’m writing this kind of in retrospect. I hope I will be able to convey my experience to ya’ll.

So Hillary and I are headed to Ko Samui to get some much needed beach time after seven days of cloudy skies. Everyone we’ve talked to has recommended going to Ko Samui and a few have recommended the full moon party on Ko Pha nang. After reaching Ko Samui short most of our electronics (another long story) we realize that there are thousands more young people on the island than usual due to the full moon party. We learn from some people that the full moon party is scheduled for the day after we arrive and begin to contemplate what it will be like. We both decide we should sleep on it being that we’ve just spent around 15 hours traveling and set off into dreamland. When we awake we realize that A.) The beach we’re staying on might as well be located on cancun becuase there are so many tourists you can barely see the beach. On top of that they are renting JETSKIES to some handicapped bros for aruond 20$ for TEN MINUTES. It goes without saying that this isn’t our scene and we plan a hasty retreat to what the lonely planet refers to as a “secluded” beach. We first decide, however, that we can’t just miss out on the legendary full moon party and go to our “resort’s” travel agency to get some tickets.

When we arrive we are told that there are ferries heading to Ko Pha Nang leaving Ko Samui every hour from 7:30 on. As the 7:30 and 8:30 are booked we decide to go for the 9:30 time and pay around 25$ each for tickets. After some food and lazing about on the crowded beach we wait at the resort to get picked up by the van which takes us to the “secluded” beach of which the lonely planet has spoken of where we will be catching the ferry.

The first thing I’m thinking is “this beach isn’t fucking secluded, there are expensive restaurants and botique resorts everywhere! The second thought that comes to mind is, wow, there are tons of people standing on the beach and that’s not a ferry, it’s a speedboat. After approaching the pick up area it becomes abundantly clear that there is NO que, being that everyone is shoving forward, waists deep in the ocean, trying to get on the boat. People are being shoved onto the boat motors (that arn’t running, luckily) and we notice that there are mostly douchy males getting on the boat that have just arrived when many people are saying they have been there two hours just trying to get there. We laugh and chat and push for about an hour before we’re finally able to get on the boat. This is only after my attempt to link arms with Hillary ends with some Dbag calling me a cunt and hacking at where our arms are connected trying to get Hillary’s spot. Luckily, we’re pretty damn witty and very pretty people and have made a few friends in the line who yell at the bastard enough that he lets Hillary on.

Ok, we’re on the island, now it’s time for some fun! Full moon party time right? But wait! first you we to pay another 4$ to get into the party (not included in the boat fee, fair enough Thai people) and then navigate through this labirinth of people waving buckets at you at varying prices. There are bars on all sides and the walkways in between them form choke points at the bucket vendors. I start vaguely remembering a film from childhood that’s somehow related to this madness. I forget about it and we forge ahead with our newly aquired New Zelander friends.

The traffic is dispersing! We have made it! Surely there will be tons of stages and dancing and good techno! My heart is racing(yeah, not as much from excitement, moreso from being crammed in between so many people for so long). As we get to the huge beach the party is being thrown on we realize a few things. First, there is only one stage, and there is no DJ spinning on it. There are giant speakers blasting random bits of pop music intermixed with techno. The second realization is the childhood film this reminds me of… As I look up at the hives of people with pink buckets in hand humping eachother, look down at the people passed out on the beach, I realize that the film is Pinnocio! We have arrived at Paradise Island! There are fucking jackasses everywhere!

We decide to watch some thai fire dancing because that is cool no matter what. After watching some rad fire dancing the small thai man sells some drunk whiteys the flaming balls and as this girl starts fire seizuring in front of us she continuously burns herself and gets the balls tangled together. wow, should have taken a picture of her!

To get through the non-dancing crowds of people it’s best to go around the periphery so we do and notice people vomiting, passing out, convulsing, and SHITTING in the ocean. Yes, there are people passed out in the vomitting, shitty water. Hopefully the fellow convulsing did not die in the shitty water, what a horrific death. That being said, I wouldn’t feel that bad about it, being the grotesque nature of what he has entered in to.

So 3:30 rolls around in no time and we decide that it’s time to get out of this goddamed childrens movie. We head to the boats thinking most people are probably going to be staying till 7AM… WRONG. We come around the corner to the boats and realize there are five lines. At the ocean side of these lines there are small walkways that are meant to hold people in single file lines. At the land side of these lines there are people crammed 7-8 abreast trying to force their way through the little thai men even though NO BOATS are there. Oh yeah, there are about 700 people in these lines when we get there, and they only keep on growing.

We, being smart, physically attractive individuals look for a line corresponding to the color of the tickets we got from our agency. This proves difficult, however, because there is not one sign, arrow, or attendant that tells you where to go. I start laughing, thinking about how funny it is that we got put in this situation. We destroy their beach, and any sense of culture that exists on their island, and they, in return make us go through hell to get to and fro.

I’ve een going on for too long so i’ll get to the funny/bad parts. We notice that these three particularly douchy looking Italians are trying to push into the front of the line. A person says, ‘hey go to the back of the line’ which totally sets one of the italians off, so much so that he starts trying (as far as i can tell) to karate chop him over and over again. He doesn’t succeed in this but does succeed in hitting at least two females while he’s trying. One of the females was with a particularly agitated british twenty something that immediatly got in the guys face telling him how he will slit his throat and play with his entrails. Later, we realize his girlfriend is crazy, and tells us it’s not fair and that we should “RUSH THE PIER!” Everyone says “No” in unison because the only thing that would happen is we would all fall 10 feet onto concrete and probably drown in the water. Anywho, we get back at 6AM instead of 4 and go about attempting to forget about the full moon party and remind ourselves that yes, the full moon party is indeed a once in a lifetime experience. Once you go you’ll never go back.

Written by Nathaniel Holden

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  1. Philip Ashlock    Sep 1, 06:47 PM    #